She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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