I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
