trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
