HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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