He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
