ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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