ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
