Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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