1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize