do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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