Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
