Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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