so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
PANTIES FOUND
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