Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
