the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
