my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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