I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize