In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
