okay pat passed out under dana's car
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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