Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
