I heard we made out
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
