so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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