He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
