If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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