I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize