we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dicks are not precious.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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