Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
