I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
