She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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