It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
