his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
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I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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