I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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