are you still at the devil's house?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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