yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize