You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
