She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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