thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
