it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
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