Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
