Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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