I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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