Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
