just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
