wat bout pragnant strippers??
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
