We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
