What a fucking waste of an outfit
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Randomize
