I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
