So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
