my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize