It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
