Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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