The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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