I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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