If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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