As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
