So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
