i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
