The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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