Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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