What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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