OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
