Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
