Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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