ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
