If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
